Magic Words

Hear a Testimony:

After Sunday morning worship, and praise the lord it was cut short this morning as my worship depends on some man doing the final prayer.

Anyway it was a wonderful service and there was uplifting music and a Spirit filled me up. I was getting really hungry so I stoped at my favorite place called Hooters it has an Owl for the logo “get it” wink, wink.

As I was sitting at the bar drinking my beer, I was basking in the spirit from morning worship, I was noticing the big “hooters’ on my waitress and the guy next to me was noticing too.

We shared a little chuckle and started talking about how desirable the little girl taking our order was, we had to mention every detail of her body, while we talked our minds built a mental image of her necked.

The conversation went to other desirable women and where they can be located, if we ever wanted to go look. And of course we discussed all the celebrities hotties, what a wonderful time we kept buying each other beers.

And then my BBQ Swine wrapped in Crab Legs showed up and I bowed my head to pray. And that’s when my new friend ask me about my religion. I knew this was a calling moment and I started to tell him about my god Jesus.

How he was killed by his own creation but came back to life. And because he beat death, he took away all the evil in the world. And now we are just waiting to be snatched away in the blink of an eye, into Heaven.

My new friend lit up and said I want to go to heaven too, how do I do it, we are just alike in womanizing and drugging. I want to follow the god that allows you to do all that and make it into a Holy City.

I told him all he has to do is say the magic words of “I Believe in Jesus” and you are now on the waiting list to be Raptured away. I invited him to my church, I could use a like minded christian friend to visit those places so we can drink beer and hold pornographic thoughts captive.

My new Friend said the Magic words and this is the Testimony I wanted to share with you, there is power in the name of Jesus. And this proves it.

“Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will (Torah) of my Father which is in heaven.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name?(Remember Hooters?) and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. (Matt. 7:21-23 KJV)